Be Your Own Dang #1

Updated: Jan 1, 2020

I'd say this topic is good for those with metal health illnesses and for those without: Prioritize your own self, goddamnit all. Personally, I spend a lot of time wanting to please others- making myself smaller, more agreeable, more forgiving and more not myself in order to keep things smooth with others. I know tons of others do these things, too. We've been trained to believe that that should be the norm- it's fine for you to feel uncomfortable as long as you're not upsetting anyone. Don't make waves because those are the kinds of people who aren't liked. I'm learning, finally (at the age of 28), that I don't have to do things for everyone elses' joy and that it's okay to cherish and nurture my own happiness. More than okay, honestly. We don't do enough of that! We forgot all too often that we should be our own #1 and we've probably been told for most of our lives that putting yourself first is selfish. Hell. Naw. Taking care of one's self is the basis of life- our purpose as living creatures is to live as happily and happily as we can. Why should we have a reason to do what's best for us? I'm probably rambling, so I'll throw out some examples of what I mean if what I'm saying is muddled: - Not speaking your mind because you don't want others to think poorly of what you have to say, or disagree. - Going to events you didn't want to be at as to not upset so and so because they expect you to be there. - Having people in your life you wouldn't if not for so and so who expect you to have a good relationship with them. - Sitting through conversations where you don't speak up during points you really feel you should because God forbid anyone see you as disagreeable. You get my drift! If I'm being transparent, I'm writing all of this to remind myself of the above life lesson. Couldn't hurt to remind ya'll, too. My fiance and I are dealing with a situation where we're being expected to do something we find unreasonable, and we've decided that we aren't going to bend over how we want to handle it. Anyways, we don't want to comply for the sake of being agreeable and for not upsetting anyone because doing so would make us unhappy. Why should we swallow down any sort of negative emotions we feel or repercussions we get so other people will approve and be satisfied? That's just plain stupid when you really think about it. Putting your own health (physical or mental) and happiness ahead of others' isn't a bad thing- it's the best thing. If you're not actively hurting others for your the sake of your own well being, there's nothing wrong with that. Not everyone will approve of what you do at every second- we shouldn't feel obligated to please as many people as we possibly can at every point while ignoring our own wants, or needs. You're allowed to flourish. Besides, I'd hope we all understand the difference between doing something for your well being and doing something from pure selfishness- they're not the same thing. You're allowed to disagree, you're allowed to have different views, you're allowed to skip an event for any reason you damn well want, you don't have to keep in touch with everyone, you don't have to see anyone you don't ever want to and you don't have to mold and shape yourself into everyone's ideal person. Do you. Take care of you. Pretty please. xoShay

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