Shayla & The Hospital

Hey, everyone! I've been pretty stagnant on social media compared to how I generally am aka shitposting about my life endlessly via Instagram. I decided to take a step back from most social media while I worked on my mental health full time. I'd already stopped using Facebook and Twitter, so I wanted to add on Instagram considering how much time I spent posting, checking on how many likes I was getting or scrolling mindlessly. I did log into Twitter again, but it's because I'm attempting to bother one of my favourite internet personalities and get him to sing at my wedding. Priorities, right? I'll post here and there about mental health, as well, probably. @shayraeingame - if you're interested. So what have I been up to? I'm currently a patient at Alberta Hospital's outpatient sector, taking a mental health program that includes all kinds of great things, including: -guided goal setting -one on one sessions with psychiatrists -group therapy where we're taught all kinds of things about our ailments and how to cope with them -group peer support sessions -therapeutic distractions like painting -guided meditation -medication monitoring and adjusting And although I'm lucky enough to not need to partake, they offer a clothing "store" that has tonsssss of donated clothing, as well as a pantry for patients to pick out household food staples their homes may need (pastas, bread, noodles, etc). I think that's great! Anyways. How's it going? Okay. Just okay? Yeah, I'd say so. I don't hate it, I really and truly don't... I'm just not entirely certain how helpful this program will be for me. The learning-centric group therapy lessons are all things I've heard time and time again. It's all coping skills and information I've had shoveled down my throat for as long as I've been seeking help for my mental health. I'm not saying it's useless, absolutely not, it just doesn't feel helpful to me. Even so, I've been keeping all of our handouts, as well as taking notes and writing in a journal to get as much as I possibly can from this. I've gotten to such a bad place that I'm willing to do whatever I need to if it gives me even a glimmer of hope to get out of this rut. It's been weird and difficult living with an entirely different schedule suddenly, but the hospital is peaceful and I've come to like the other patients and the doctors/nurses. Everyone's been great. The best experience for me, so far, has been the peer support group and just socializing and hanging out with the other patience. Hearing their experiences and sitting across from them as they laugh and smile while we chat- it's all a much needed reminder that I'm not alone. It's a reminder for you, too! You may feel alone and that you're the only one with a mess inside your head, but you're not. Most of the patients in my program are people who seem completely normal- they look just like anyone you'd wander by, they don't really have any visual or verbal ticks that could give them away. They're honestly people that I feel surprised when I find out just how much they've gone through, or how much time they've had to spend in psychiatric hospitals. Anyways! I guess I don't have much else to report. Oh yeah, wait, the pharmacist did change my meds around so we'll see how that goes. Take care, everyone.

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